Be the catalyst

If you've waited all year to tell someone you love them, you've done them and yourself a disservice because you may have missed out on some of the best memories of your life with them.

If you've waited a whole year to choose to make a change in yourself to better your life. You've failed at creating the best YOU that ever existed. regardless of what day it is though, nothing counts as a total failure unless you never try. So don't wait until the last minute to do anything that can better your life and those around you.

As long as the breath of life resides within your body you can do anything you set your mind to. All you have to do is make the first step. Be the catalyst of change in your life and start a chain reaction in others. Have an awesome day.

Black women and American beauty standards

A lot of times I think that Black women in America have been forced to deny their natural beauty and made to think that every other trait outside of their own is superior and they should strive to attain it by shedding their inherited ones. Whether it be via colored contacts, blonde hair, straight hair, lighter skin or whatever.  I think that we need to encourage them to embrace their natural selves and help them to be confident and not ashamed of what they were born with.

We should not do this through criticism first because we have to understand the physiological effects of a European based beauty standard crammed down their throats has done over the years. Also us men in a large number were effected and made to think these traits were more desirable as well. Not all have accepted the "standard" though and many of us WANT more natural women. There's nothing wrong with weave and these things in a small amount when it comes to enhancing what already exists but when it becomes the thing that defines you, it's a problem. As a Black man, I'm saying We love you. We appreciate you. If we complain about something,  it's exactly for those reasons.

Think about this ladies

Think about this, many men were taught at an early age that you aren't a man unless you are sleeping with multiple women. When doing so, we get praised for it like "you're a playa". This mentality is seen in our music, movies and everywhere. Being a ladies man is presented as being desirable. 

On the flip side, most women are taught that to be a respectable woman you must keep your body count low, get a good guy and settle down. Get married and have kids.

Now here's the fucked up part, as humans we like a challenge. So the ladies men (bad boys) are challeged to get that good girl and finally smash, never wife, only GET what no one else can. And those "good girls" are challeged to get the ladies man and make him want to change his ways and settle with her, becoming everything she wanted minus the "ladies man" ways.

Now tell me if that'll ever work. Ladies, unless that man wants to genuinely change, there's NOTHING you can do to make it happen. Your best bet is to simply avoid the bad boys unless you are looking to gamble a bet most of you lose in the long run. It's not your choice to make or influence.  Each man has his own personal journey into manhood, you may be a factor in it but you are never the catalyst. if you try to force it, you'll most likely meet resistance. Let him discover for himself.

A woman who is FOR you

A woman who is FOR you will encourage you in your goals, she will motivate you and even match your determination in her life as well. One like that will strive to be on your level as you strive towards whatever you see as success. The opposite will drag you down. and on that same note, a man who wants his woman to succeed will do the same for her if she has real goals. Bottom line, choose wisely. The wrong choice can slow you down or stop you completely. The moment you realize it, it's time to regroup, revise your team roster and restart. Never let anyone keep you from your personal success.

We don't love these hoes..... Yes you do

Truth is some Dudes LOVE hoes even though snoop said they didn't lol. If males didn't love hoes they'd truly show it in their actions by NOT fucking with them.

Fellas How many times have you walked into a club and asked your boy or been asked "where the hoes at?".......you didn't even come looking for decent women. But you damage your own image of women by primarily fucking with hoes. How? Because in a typical man's life he will have 2, 3 maybe 4 serious relationships, the rest of his time is wasted on "loving these hoes".

So now this man who primarily deals with hoes and has possibly had drama or even a few assumed relationships with them, loses touch with reality when it comes to dealing with an actual grown woman who won't take the same stuff he pulled with hoes.  He will find it difficult because the minimum requirements to appease basic hoes is not the same as with grown women. In most cases it won't last and guess where he ends up again? Fucking with hoes. That's like going back to a comfort food when you're depressed. It may feel good for the time being but it's not good for you. My advice, choose quality over quantity so your sense of discernment isn't corrupted by the company you keep. 

Mothers and daughters

Ladies you talk about how much you hate hoes and bad behaving females all the time, and rightfully so. But do you ever think about how much of an impact you have in your daughters lives? YOU are literally the first woman she encounters in life and as such you set the example of WHAT a woman is and HOW a woman should carry herself.

Are you instilling good qualities in them so that she knows what a decent man is and what treatment she should allow? Is she seeing first hand through your interaction with her father how a woman treats her mate? Or if single your dating habits?  What kind of men does she observe you with? She is a direct reflection of you.

so if you are constantly parading bad boys and thugs around guess what?
If you are unruly and less than respectable in your actions then guess what?

What are your thoughts, be honest?

Fathers and daughters

Fellas we talk about how much we hate hoes and dislike bad behaving women and rightfully so. But do we ever think about how much of an impact we truly have on our daughters lives? We are literally the first man she will ever encounter in life. Are we setting good examples and instilling qualities in them that ensure she allows the right men into her life when she becomes an adult?

The way we treat her mother and even the kinds of women we have in our lives that she observes will most likely shape how she perceives men and what she thinks is acceptable treatment. So if you are the bad boy type, or a thug type or anything you HOPE she never meets, guess what?
If you are constantly parading new girlfriend after new girlfriend in front of her then guess what? Children pick up on a LOT more than we think........

So what are your thoughts, be honest.

Men and males

There's a HUGE difference between MEN and typical MALES .......that's the most simple way I can explain this lol. A grown man will not play mind games with you or make you question his motives, trust me, you will know EVERY intention he has with you and whether or not you fit into his future AND at what capacity. A typical male will not be what you are looking for ever, bottom line. He'll ACT the part to get what he wants from you and possibly string you along if you allow it but that's it. Discernment is very important. Many women (also different than typical females) have been dealing with males and to be honest don't know how to act when they encounter a grown man that's about truly building. Often times her doubt alone can cause her to over think and even mess up the situation. Why? Because she's throwing up guards that are usually reserved for the typical males she's been dating.

And sadly, a grown man usually won't have time to rebuild you, not being cold but it's more of a headache tearing down walls THEN getting to know YOU than just seeking a ready and compatible woman who's ready. That's my take on it. 

Winning isn't everything

Winning isn't everything but it sure feels great when you get use to it. Truth is, losing isn't a total loss when you learn something from it. Don't be afraid to fail every now and then, sometimes the lessons learned can teach you more about yourself than you ever knew. That in itself is a win on another level. .....

Now if you lose ALL the time, that's not a win, you actually suck at life......no seriously..... Kill yourself lolol. (Don't do that, I'm joking......you still suck though)

That's my random thought for the day. Have a good one folks.

Black men, Mediocre should not be our default setting

Some men are out to become successful just to get women, in my opinion that's even worse because they are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Any success gained holds less value and adds nothing to the overall person in the realm of development. The ambitious nature is only manifested in order to attract women for sex and not to better self and community as a whole, that in my opinion is a man lead by the wrong head and is of no use to anyone forward thinking. We've got to hold ourselves to a higher standard fellas. While it's true, many women are attracted to success, understand that many of the wrong women are as well. You can't base the quality of the woman on your level of success without good skills of discernment. You can end up broke that way. 

I can agree that some men do those things for pussy or a "look at me now" reason more than anything. As far as financial stability, that's a funny one seeing as how many men can talk their way into pussy (doesn't matter the race) for free by "running game" and selling dreams to avoid the friendzone (tossed that in for the gripers) lol. And again if they can do that without actually having the money they have no motivation to actually live the life they portray, this holds true for any man not just one race. We gotta get out of this whole race thing, gets old. Time to stop focusing on others. Truth is, pussy rules some men's lives and that in itself is a problem. Making too many excuses and trying to be "real niggas" is a problem. 

Many men have a practice of "just getting by" and blaiming others when they cannot succeed. Truth is too many lack the drive to actually work hard to succeed in anything. Too many are comfortable with mediocrity. Then if any woman downs him because she sees the potential in him, they claim that she's emasculating him. Truth is son you emasculated yourself the minute you thought a woman would accept you in your current state. If you are comfortable just getting by no respectable woman will want you pulling her down as well. You can't expect her to submit if you barely have drive to become more. You have to get off your ass and stop trying to just get some ass and focus on gaining assets. That's logical. Get your priorities in order. That's a whole other discussion in itself. 

As men we should strive to better ourselves in all aspects, not just financial stability. Personal development, spiritual strengthening, leadership skills and mental strength are all important as well to become a more complete being. Mediocre should never be our default setting.

Being happy

being happy or rich shouldn't be measured by your status or your material possessions you acquired before dying, rather it is determined by the appreciation of things that are irreplaceable like, moments, memories created, family and friends and time spent while you still live. ---some guy named Shai

African Americans.....suffer

All African Americans who are possible descendants of slaves are suffering from generational post traumatic stress disorder. The effects of slavery are still prevalent in our mentalities and conditioned behavior. A good majority are suffering from self hatred. We were taught to hate our own skin and features, our men were taught to abandon their families not by that action but because they were systematically removed as the black families Masculine center piece. Everything is tied together. We are an ongoing social experiment of racism and other aspects.

We are all damaged. Let's be honest, we are wired to hate each other while being hated by the descendants of our former oppressors. We were never meant to remain in America after slavery ended. And to be honest it never ended, too many of us are mentally shackled. And the prison system is just legalized slavery that generates millions for the private sector. All kinds of things that we don't see are results of everything I stated.

We helped build this country but it's still not "For Us" yet. While we sit and bicker over stats on who is more fucked up our men or women, the wheels keep turning in our self inflicted and Racism assisted destruction. Keep it up folks.

Black Perception

Black men

i'm sorry to tell you this but, by constantly putting Black women "on blast" you also in turn make yourselves look bad. stating that they are the least desired women on the planet is like you are trying to ignore the fact that most non black people view you as the least desired man on Earth as well. news flash, you are a NOVELTY fuck. Nothing against interracial dating but Black women hating Black men please don't assume that you are at the top of a large majority list. you can claim that every other woman is better than the black woman all you want, you are still a black man and a nigger in the eyes of the ones who would enslave you if the chance came. (not all non blacks feel this way but understand the hidden mentality of closet racists) So what are you trying to do? are you fighting for the second to last place? passing off your opinion as fact in order to look a little better to your imaginary admirers is hilarious. you are displaying the "crabs in a bucket" mentality with your own women.

The stereotypes about Black men and women is about equal, Men we are viewed and portrayed in the media and shows as deadbeat dads, drug dealers, thieves and criminals not worthy of any respect and bound for prison. Our women are viewed as baby mommas, hoodrats and weave wearing loud mouths. Getting online to bash our women just shows that you are failing them. blaming everything on feminism and single mothers for the destruction of the black community is a logical fallacy (lol yes i used your favorite term). you must understand that single mothers cannot exist without absentee fathers and black women being involved in the feminism movement could not have happened without some of our fathers allowing it to happen. every action or LACK of action has and equal but opposite reaction. We are JUST as responsible for everything that has happened and yet today some of us would rather point fingers to shift blame instead of recognizing the events that contribute to our current state and enacting solutions to change it. And joining any extremist movements like Masculinism or mgtow will have the same effect that feminism had, especially if you have not fixed the broken bonds between you and your women. creating a bigger divide than what's already present. how logical is that? to openly blame feminism then join a similar movement along the same lines.......idiocy.

perception is reality. By helping others to see your women in a negative light all the time, you help their perception become their reality and by cosigning each other in all the negative speak, it also becomes YOUR reality. if you have never met or dated a great Black woman, it's time to look at yourself. you have accepted too many bad examples and allowed it to become your reality, then covering up your mistakes with unequal blame without acknowledging self in the equation. While it's true there are ratchet women out there, but no one told you to date them all lol.

Understanding all factors that lead to an end result is the best way to begin implementing solutions to fix what you hate so much, it all didn't happen over night. Fellas it's Time to wake up lead the way in a unified movement to erase the stereotypes of Black women and Black men and become what we want to be seen as. make our reality become the perception.

Build up what we lost

Men control how women see themselves, we control why they change their style, hair and behavior. If we never focused so much on ass and titties they would never have thought that's all we wanted.
You think chics on Facebook and intagram just started sticking their asses out in pics for nothing? Check out XXL magazine, Black men magazine or any other publication Or music video, that's all you'll see. We put a demand and pressure on Black women to be slutty and now we're upset at the monsters we created. We go out and use women over and over just for sex and wonder why they've become cold, uncaring and only good for sex. We've stripped away everything that made them unique from all other women on the planet.

We've left them to be brainwashed by the European standard of beautiful and they've all but abandoned their natural state. We can't be angry at what we helped develop. We as men let them down, we allow fake thugs on TV and reality shows tell them who to be, five star chics, bussit babies and bad bitches. Now all we see are poor exaples of what our women should be. Some of us are so color struck we "prefer" light, bright and almost white yet some of us have the nerve to claim we are "pro black" "Melaninated men" but unproud of our many shades of women we have. Or call them "benwenches" if they date outside their race when some of us act like we don't love them. And what about black men who date outside their race, should they be called "bed mitches"? People date whoever they want, big deal, no need for the double standards fellas.

Wonder why our Women are bleaching their skin? Some of us have made them so ashamed to be Black they forgot what it was. I hate when I hear a Black woman say "I'm going natural"..........Sister you should say "I'm returning to who I always was"

Enough bashing what we helped create, time to build up what we lost.

Better ways

Slavery can be blamed for a LOT , slavery never went away, it just got made legal through the jail systems. Once you are IN the system you don't get out. Through the systematic removal of the Black man as the central piece of the black family they effectively created an image of a weak man unable to lead and take care of his family, add in government assistance programs and you create a dependency in the women FURTHER lowering the Man as that provider and leader. Bring in feminist and lure the Black woman into a cause that's not theirs and widen the division. Still while jailing black men grows (legal slavery) corral blacks into science "projects" and place everything they need to kill themselves into the lab rat cage and sit back and watch.

Everything can be traced back to slavery in my opinion, black men and women of America are mentally traumatized, in an identity crisis and programmed to hate each other. We became test subjects after they couldn't just get rid of us. Just my thoughts though. Carry on brothers.

.I lost despite my upbringing, in a struggle to fit in to be accepted as a "real nigga" while being ridiculed for being smart, being accused of "acting white" just because I made good grades and spoke proper English. My mother telling me to be better than what is is expected of a young black man and my WRONG friends wanting me to be just like them. My Father showed me how to be a grown man and I can't lie, I did everything BUT that. I was headed to the prison based off the things I was doing. But it took a few scares and a few friends getting jail sentences for me to WAKE UP. I struggled transitioning from hustling fast money to legit jobs.

Folks don't understand that you can't lead a person out of darkness when they don't know the lights are off. Just like you can't free a slave that doesn't know he is still in shackles. We are in mental shackles these days. Some of us are free and trying to point fingers and ridicule the lost, they won't change unless we can turn on the lights. Pointing fingers and casting blame just causes fights rather than teach or reach. A person drowning in ignorance will fight to stay ignorant if they don't know any better. You end up spending time arguing a person standing still instead of taking them along on your side towards better ways. 

Black identity crisis

When black people say that black women are the most beautiful women in the world........that's their opinion and it's not throwing other races under the bus. And why shouldn't black people think otherwise. As far as black women wearing weave and other accessories to appear more European, we gotta realize how badly we all (men and women) have been brainwashed to think our own features are bad. Back then black men were even perming their hair to straighten it. We've all fell victim to the "white is right" mentality. There are so many cases of men and women bleaching their skin and doing everything to appear LESS than what they were born as many of us even speak differently around others. And then our own people will accuse us of "sounding white" when it happens but it's just proper English. We are even ridiculed for getting good grades and trying to give ourselves a better chance to succeed in the world we live in which was obviously not designed to allow us the freedom to do so. Crabs in a bucket mentality runs wild in our communities. Why? We have been conditioned to perpetually keep each other down.

The mental damage is much deeper than folks understand, we live in a world (America) where Black men and women are having a daily identity crisis, we're all mentally traumatized and for some the cycle never ends and is carried on to the children. To the point where we name our children whiter names so they won't be bypassed when turning in job applications. So many things play a part in why we are so mixed up today.

And we fight each other constantly, some to prove who's blacker, more conscious, more of a "real nigga" prettier, smarter and so on. Time to wake up. We didn't start the sickness we all suffer from but we can end it.

We need to come together

Masculinist = feminist with dicks........two extremist groups that do nothing but divide the genders that were BUILD to work together. But not many see that.

And as far as the black community, I submit to the MGTOW black men, if the black women joining the feminist movement damaged our community and social dynamic so much and you believe it as fact, why in the heck would you join an similar movement when we have yet to fix the problems that the first mistake made? Seems illogical and history will repeat itself.

We have too much to lose by further spreading ourselves thin with movements that we don't need to get involved in.

You want to fix the black family? You must work on THAT not "go your own way"

You want to keep our brothers out of the system that's not created to benefit us? Then you educate other brothers AND the sistas so they both know it does more damage than good to the whole family unit.

You want to correct the wayward behavior of our men and women? STAY and show them you care enough to not give up on them. Pull these young men and women out of the streets and awaken them. Stop bashing each other into a deeper sleep.

Acting like a pit of wolves that will eat each other rather than find a way out just keeps us all destined for failure.