Be the catalyst

If you've waited all year to tell someone you love them, you've done them and yourself a disservice because you may have missed out on some of the best memories of your life with them.

If you've waited a whole year to choose to make a change in yourself to better your life. You've failed at creating the best YOU that ever existed. regardless of what day it is though, nothing counts as a total failure unless you never try. So don't wait until the last minute to do anything that can better your life and those around you.

As long as the breath of life resides within your body you can do anything you set your mind to. All you have to do is make the first step. Be the catalyst of change in your life and start a chain reaction in others. Have an awesome day.

Black women and American beauty standards

A lot of times I think that Black women in America have been forced to deny their natural beauty and made to think that every other trait outside of their own is superior and they should strive to attain it by shedding their inherited ones. Whether it be via colored contacts, blonde hair, straight hair, lighter skin or whatever.  I think that we need to encourage them to embrace their natural selves and help them to be confident and not ashamed of what they were born with.

We should not do this through criticism first because we have to understand the physiological effects of a European based beauty standard crammed down their throats has done over the years. Also us men in a large number were effected and made to think these traits were more desirable as well. Not all have accepted the "standard" though and many of us WANT more natural women. There's nothing wrong with weave and these things in a small amount when it comes to enhancing what already exists but when it becomes the thing that defines you, it's a problem. As a Black man, I'm saying We love you. We appreciate you. If we complain about something,  it's exactly for those reasons.

Think about this ladies

Think about this, many men were taught at an early age that you aren't a man unless you are sleeping with multiple women. When doing so, we get praised for it like "you're a playa". This mentality is seen in our music, movies and everywhere. Being a ladies man is presented as being desirable. 

On the flip side, most women are taught that to be a respectable woman you must keep your body count low, get a good guy and settle down. Get married and have kids.

Now here's the fucked up part, as humans we like a challenge. So the ladies men (bad boys) are challeged to get that good girl and finally smash, never wife, only GET what no one else can. And those "good girls" are challeged to get the ladies man and make him want to change his ways and settle with her, becoming everything she wanted minus the "ladies man" ways.

Now tell me if that'll ever work. Ladies, unless that man wants to genuinely change, there's NOTHING you can do to make it happen. Your best bet is to simply avoid the bad boys unless you are looking to gamble a bet most of you lose in the long run. It's not your choice to make or influence.  Each man has his own personal journey into manhood, you may be a factor in it but you are never the catalyst. if you try to force it, you'll most likely meet resistance. Let him discover for himself.

A woman who is FOR you

A woman who is FOR you will encourage you in your goals, she will motivate you and even match your determination in her life as well. One like that will strive to be on your level as you strive towards whatever you see as success. The opposite will drag you down. and on that same note, a man who wants his woman to succeed will do the same for her if she has real goals. Bottom line, choose wisely. The wrong choice can slow you down or stop you completely. The moment you realize it, it's time to regroup, revise your team roster and restart. Never let anyone keep you from your personal success.

We don't love these hoes..... Yes you do

Truth is some Dudes LOVE hoes even though snoop said they didn't lol. If males didn't love hoes they'd truly show it in their actions by NOT fucking with them.

Fellas How many times have you walked into a club and asked your boy or been asked "where the hoes at?".......you didn't even come looking for decent women. But you damage your own image of women by primarily fucking with hoes. How? Because in a typical man's life he will have 2, 3 maybe 4 serious relationships, the rest of his time is wasted on "loving these hoes".

So now this man who primarily deals with hoes and has possibly had drama or even a few assumed relationships with them, loses touch with reality when it comes to dealing with an actual grown woman who won't take the same stuff he pulled with hoes.  He will find it difficult because the minimum requirements to appease basic hoes is not the same as with grown women. In most cases it won't last and guess where he ends up again? Fucking with hoes. That's like going back to a comfort food when you're depressed. It may feel good for the time being but it's not good for you. My advice, choose quality over quantity so your sense of discernment isn't corrupted by the company you keep. 

Mothers and daughters

Ladies you talk about how much you hate hoes and bad behaving females all the time, and rightfully so. But do you ever think about how much of an impact you have in your daughters lives? YOU are literally the first woman she encounters in life and as such you set the example of WHAT a woman is and HOW a woman should carry herself.

Are you instilling good qualities in them so that she knows what a decent man is and what treatment she should allow? Is she seeing first hand through your interaction with her father how a woman treats her mate? Or if single your dating habits?  What kind of men does she observe you with? She is a direct reflection of you.

so if you are constantly parading bad boys and thugs around guess what?
If you are unruly and less than respectable in your actions then guess what?

What are your thoughts, be honest?

Fathers and daughters

Fellas we talk about how much we hate hoes and dislike bad behaving women and rightfully so. But do we ever think about how much of an impact we truly have on our daughters lives? We are literally the first man she will ever encounter in life. Are we setting good examples and instilling qualities in them that ensure she allows the right men into her life when she becomes an adult?

The way we treat her mother and even the kinds of women we have in our lives that she observes will most likely shape how she perceives men and what she thinks is acceptable treatment. So if you are the bad boy type, or a thug type or anything you HOPE she never meets, guess what?
If you are constantly parading new girlfriend after new girlfriend in front of her then guess what? Children pick up on a LOT more than we think........

So what are your thoughts, be honest.