This morning I'm thinking about my mom who passed 8 years ago, it doesn't seem that long ago but I remember it vividly. I got the call while I was in Jackson. I had a horrible feeling the night before and dreaded answering the phone that morning. My heart dropped, I had told her Friday that I would see her when I got back. She couldn't talk but she nodded her head to specify she understood. I kissed her and left. Now I was driving 100mph down 55 like there was something I could remotely do about it. I made it home and the room she was in was completely cleaned with no trace of her ever being there. No bed, no machines, nothing left. I was instantly gripped with sorrow, I never got to say goodbye. I just went to my room, closed the door and fell to the floor, blocking the door so no one could come in with their "I'm sorrys" or "it'll be ok's". I wanted to die. For many years we didn't get along because I was a free spirit and hated rules but when she got sick, we became so close and got to really know each other. Now she was gone. She made me strong, taught me to never give up, taught me about life and how to stand up for myself and be independent. I wore my dress blues Marine uniform to her funeral because she had never seen me in it. I said my last words to her "thank you for making me strong" and that was it. I made it, that was a change in me caused by the loss of a loved one. To everyone who mourns the loss of a love one, be strong, life is the hard part, dying is easy. Rejoice in life, our prolonged time on Earth is not promised.
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