Karma's a bitch and little sisters need moral support during ass whoopings

Story from when I was a kid

My mom would call me from her job and just say "you know imma whoop you when I get home right?" Then she'd hang up. Maaaaan she got off late though so I was scared to go to sleep lol. Everytime I heard a sound like a car in the driveway I'd get up. I have a twin bro (fraternal) and I'd ask him to switch beds for the night (he didn't know I had an atomic bomb headed my way) but he was too smart for that so he'd never switch.  Ok there goes plan A. Next I figured I'd put my pillows under the covers and hide under the bed then the plan was to scream when she hit them (yes that was stupid, it was kid logic lol, it seemed GENIUS at the time). So my mom gets home and I'm as still as a mouse, I can hear the door close. Next I hear the keys get put down. I hear her walking down the hall...............holding my breath.............it's dark............she PASSED MY ROOM!!! YES SHE MUST HAVE FORGOT!!! I'M FREE, I'M OUT ON BAIL!!! DOOM HAS NOT BEFALLEN MY YOUNG TENDER BROWN BOOTY TONIGHT BY THE WRATH OF THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE WIELDING THE BELT OF SIR BILLY OF BEARTOWN!!

I stay and sleep under the bed just in case she wakes up in the night with an urge to fill the air with the screams of the innocent (ok not so innocent,  I forgot what I did). The next day everything is normal.  I'm acting super polite. Yes ma'am and no ma'am everything. ........I think I've made it. Yep, I'm untouchable folks. Then my little sister does something stupid. My Mom gave us all an orange to eat, I save mine for later in my jacket pocket. I go outside to play then come in later to a full on intterogation. SOMEONE ate two oranges!.........this aint looking too good for young Shai. Keep in mind I've been outside for a while,  plus I still have my orange. .....yup....... I think this is it folks. So my sister is crying, begging and pleading that it wasn't her. I figure I'd be the logical one and keep calm and confess I still have my fruit. My sister uses this opportunity to attempt to throw me in for a bogus sacrifice. Doesn't work. Mom yells to my sister "GO IN THE ROOM AND LAY ACROSS THE BED!"

I think I just escaped death TWICE!!! clearly my mom could see her oldest son was worth sparing!!

Then I hear my full first, middle and last name called........that's SEVEN SYLLABLES folks!! SEVEN FREAKING SYLLABLES!!

I'm instructed to lay across the bed as well. I look at my sister with the "WHAT DID YOU DOOOO, WHY AM I HERE??!!" face.

I ask my Mom "Mommy what I do?"

Her reply "I know you did something,  I just aint caught you yet, lay down!".........moral of the story......karma's a bitch and little sisters need moral support during ass whoopings. True story from my hilarious child hood.